They say fatherless daughters look for love elsewhere
But what do you do when your father is right there but it seems as if he doesn’t care?
Do you still go looking for love in all the wrong places?
Or do you shrivel up inside?
Broken heart doesn’t cut it
Heart is broken is more like it
Broken into pieces by this guy I thought had honest eyes.
I knew my body was my temple but I didn’t know it was a drug too.
These boys were drawn like bees to nectar but I was never trained how to handle so I fell into this guy I thought had honest eyes.
Learned that you have to look further into the eyes, look down into the soul so you truly know.
Now I know why Venus fly traps fight back.
Cuz it hurts when these bees suck all your nectar, take away your sweetness leaving only the carcass.
I thought I could see bits of my Dad through those honest eyes and now I know that I did.
Cuz just like my Dad he left me hurt and crying.
Left me pounding on a brick wall yearning for what he had stolen.
All I wanted was my father to love me.
Truly see me.
I wanted to know that he was proud and that I wasn’t letting him down.
But that was never expressed so I looked for love elsewhere and what I found was this guy I thought had honest eyes.
That thief left me searching for my soul when he stole it with his lies.
If only they knew what they had done.
It was their fault what I had become
Heartbroken and hardened
Titanium built around four chambers refusing to let anyone else in
And all this happened because bits of my father were in those honest eyes that told nothing but lies.
I wrote this poem about 3 and a half years ago. While some of the things within this piece are a bit dramatized the feelings are brutally honest. I believe this poem was really the first time I allowed my poetry to tell my story instead of telling someone else's. So I included this on my blog because it was really a turning point in my artistry and this is the kind of honesty I want to be brave enough to express through this blog.
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